How is Self Confidence Built Up or Destroyed?

The level of our self confidence is determined by the degree we like and accept ourselves. A person with high self esteem is content and at peace with who they are as a person. Their self esteem is not related to how much other people like or approve of them, as their self worth comes from within. It is an inner knowing.

If I told you that I thought you had green hair would you lose some self esteem? No-because you know you don’t have green hair. Therefore my comment or opinion has no weight or validity to you. You would just reaffirm with yourself that you do not have green hair and your self esteem would remain intact.

However, if I made a comment to you in an area in which you already had some self doubt, then perhaps you would have a different response.

What if I implied that I thought you were not a good parent or a good friend? Would that cause you to lose self esteem? It might, if you already have an inner self doubt as to whether you are a good parent or a good friend. If my comment touched an area where you were uncertain concerning your value or competence at being a parent or a friend then it would not necessarily leave your self esteem intact.